38 weeks pregnant

Thirty eight weeks and still preggo! Baby is supposed to be the length of a leek now. At the 37 week doctor appt, my weight was three pounds less than the week before. I'm certain that the nurse was reading the scale wrong. This week's weigh in still has me less than three weeks ago. It's a conspiracy.

This week I am also "a good 3+ cm" dilated and


and


and


90% effaced.

Wowzah!

Doc said that if I haven't gone into labour by next visit that she will "massage the membranes" to get things going. All of which sounds gross and painful.

I mean, I know the pain is coming. I don't really want to have to experience any unnecessary pain, you know?

So now we wait for baby to decide on when to appear.

Watch for tweets!

36 weeks and then some

Wow!

Had a doc appointment today. I'm now to visit with the doc every week until the big day. The doc said that I'm already at one to two centimeters!!!

Holy french toast!!!

She also said that I could be walking around at one to two for a while. The bub-bub is in position and hanging out. She doesn't think I'm going to make it to my due date on March 18. (poor @rsabrsula) @longstation said that I wouldn't make it either and I think he knows a thing or two or three.

Ray and I are really excited about this.

I will be packing my bag to have on standby and keep it in my boot.

AND

the doc said that I should get a footstool for work. Too bad she didn't say I should get a personal masseuse and a chef and a chocolatier.

Right now I'm using my subwoofer or my UPS as a footstool, but I'm sure I can find something a lil' more comfy.

Oh yeah, gained another five lbs, but still not heavier than @eloy! and that's all that matters.

35 weeks down, 5 weeks to go.

Whoa.

A lot has happened since my last post. I've been going for my pre-natal checkups every two weeks. All has been going well. I had a visit on Tuesday last week and they said I gained four pounds in since the last visit two weeks prior.

I was appalled.

I have to confess that there were many cupcakes/muffins consumed in those two weeks. I'm not going to be able to keep the pace of that kind of weight gain. I've only gained 20 lbs the whole pregnancy and four lbs in two weeks is just fidiculous.

Ray and I went to a birthing class (on superbowl sunday, no less). The class was a good class but it did freak me out. You know, just a lil' bit. There's just some things that you never think about when you think of birth. Part two of the class was this past Sunday. Not so much of a freakout. I enjoyed the relaxtion portion of it the most.

This past Saturday, we went to a breastfeeding class. I enjoyed the class, Ray said that he'd never thought he could get tired of looking at boobs.

True story.

The nursery is almost done! And by done, I mean we have all the furniture assembled and ready. We just need to decide on where everything will go. Not too fussed about decorating. There will be no painting and such. There might be some wall hangings and things.

I'm super excited. We still have some last things to do. Ray keeps on about having the hospital bag packed cos you never know.

Hello! FIVE weeks left till the due date!! Will I make it or will the baby come early?

I'll be OK with being on time thankyouverymuch.

25.5 Weeks

I had the sudden inclination to read a blog that I used to follow but haven't visited in months. I was really excited when I read that the blog author is pregnant cos, you know, I'm pregnant! She's about as far along as I am. I haven't read her blog in over a year so I had to go back and read the archives - the pre-wedding honeymoon, the wedding, their journey to getting pregnant.

This is the part that really spoke to me. Ol' grrl's path was very similar to mine. I know I'm not the only person going through whatever I'm going through but actually reading someone else's story has made me feel connected with her (not in a creepy cyber stalker kind of way, in a woman to woman kind of way). Ray wants me to reach out to her, but that would be creepy and cyber stalkery, don't you think?

So instead, I decided to blog, cos nobody reads this thing anyway (fingers crossed hoping nobody will actually read it cos it's way personal)

Ray and I were married in 2005. We decided to start (secretly) trying in Jan 2007. I'll be honest, I was terrified at the prospect of being preggo; being a mom to another human (as opposed to dog or cat), and in the back of my mind, I always knew that I would have trouble.

I went off the pill, had one cycle and then nothing. Eight weeks, ten weeks pass and nothing and definitely not preggo. So begins the journey of doctor visits, blood work; wait and see and medicines. The initial diagnosis was Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which wasn't cool but at least I had validation for the feelings that I had about feeling that it would be difficult getting pregnant.

In October of 2007, we started a new medicine, to see if this would get us on the way. Again, mentally, I wasn't ready. We had three cycles of this medicine but nothing, so we went back to the Doc in Jan 2008. At this point, it's been a year of secretly trying with no luck. My doc wanted to have Ray's boys checked out. He was mortified. I knew that there was nothing wrong with his stuff. I knew that it was all me. As expected, his boys checked out just fine. Ray was totally relieved.

After a year, I'm feeling pretty broke down. People everywhere are getting pregnant and it was really difficult for me to deal with. 2007 ended with my mom in hospital and a conversation with her on new year's eve where she was essentially saying goodbye to me. Her health continued to roller coaster through the beginning part of 2008. Emergency phone calls, repeat admission to hospital. Dealing with that and the pressure of trying to conceive - it was just too much. I had completely lost all faith - in myself, in my body, in the universe.

Ray was also going through his own health issues that culminated in a trip to the ER. We were both fucking basket cases. Just a fucking disaster.

My regular doctor had referred us to a Reproductive Endocrinologist to suss me out. Great. Now I get to go the specialist doctor where all the broke down women go. Which by the way is right across the hall from where all the "sat on the public toilet seat and got preggo" or "looked at my husband's penis and got preggo" normal ladies doctor's office is.

More bloodwork, more very expensive tests. All results were normal. In the middle of it we sucked it up and went to Singapore in May.

Seeing my parents was definitely very sobering. My mom's health is definitely poor and it has taken a toll on my dad and the rest of family. It was a weird visit. The day we left to come back to Houston, my mom was admitted into hospital again for the fourth time in 2008.

Fuck.

Back in Houston, there are daily phone calls to Singapore; another phone conversation with my mom where she asks me if I understand that she's dying.

I'm just totally shattered. How is anyone supposed to cope with all that shit? Seriously?

Finally (June 2008) my mom is stabilised physically and mentally and finally embarking on a route that will eventually get her back to where she needs to be. She is soooooooo much better now and we are so grateful.

During this time, there are more doctor visits and another very expensive (read as "not covered by insurance") test. All results are still normal.

Around this time, I also remember exclaiming in dramatic despair to Ray that it would take a fucking miracle for me to get pregnant.

Well, turns out that's exactly what happened. I will get into that another day though.

22 Weeks

Bub is the size of a spaghetti squash this week, about 11 inches in length and almost a pound in weight.Wow!

I feel like I just woke up and have a pregnant belly. It's unmistakable. I'm just amazed.

Bub is moving frequently and I'm able to feel it. Very, very cool!