26.5 weeks

So we're back to the miracle.

Ray and I had returned from Singapore. We were going forward with our mission. I had bloodwork done the day after we returned. A week or so later I went in to have an HSG which is a test where dye is injected into your uterus, ahem, if you have one, and a radiologists looks via x-ray at where the dye is flowing to see if there any blockages in your fallopian tubes. Oh and they let you watch too.

I was nervous about the test, but it turned out to be no biggie. It was uncomfortable, but not painful. The radiologist chick said that I had good looking fallopian tubes and uterus. I thanked her and told her I worked hard for them.

I was relieved to hear that all my parts were looking good. I had a follow up with my specialist doc to go over the bloodwork and result of the HSG. She said that everything was normal. We went over the next steps: a different set of meds to make me have a cycle, then when I start, another set of meds that would stimulate ovulation. I would have to come back during the potential ovulation dates for ultrasound of the ovaries to see if they're ripe. If they are, then two options:

1. IUF - in utero fertilization. Essentially, they get a sample, separate it out, doc said that they would put the prettiest and the fastest swimmers together, and then that sample is delivered as close to the egg as possible. Go for the gold, boys!

2. Try naturally.

Jeez.

Even writing about it now makes me cringe.

I was not looking forward to these next steps. They just seemed so clinical and unnatural. The med that I would have to take is a chemo drug being used off-label. I did not want to do that. I was so expecting for everything to get harder and more expensive and to fail in the end.

After the test result review appointment, they had me do a blood pregnancy test. Negative.

It's June 26, 2008. I go home to wait for my period to start. Not literally but you know what I mean.

I'm due July 4. Nothing, which isn't unusual. I feel like I'm about to start so I wait a week for good measure.
Nothing. I'm not surprised. I still feel like I'm about to start so I wait another week.

One thing I do remember is I noticed that I seemed to have some new veins visible across my chest. I've always been able to see the veins on my chest, but this seems new.

I have medicine to take to make me bleed (without ovulating). Before I can start that medicine, I have to take a home pregnancy test.

Sunday, July 22, 2008, just after 7 in the morning. Pee on the stick and mooch about waiting for it to be ready. Pet Mia while I wait. Got my little stopwatch going cos I have to be precise. Instructions say two minutes, I wait two minutes.

Two minutes up and I look at the thing and it has a plus sign. I don't understand. I look at the instructions. I look at the test. I look at the pictures on the instructions and I look at the test.

I go back into the bedroom and say "Raymond. Get up. You need to see this." He glides out of bed and follows me into the bathroom.

I show him the plus sign. He looks at the paper and the test.

"What does this mean?"

"It says I'm pregnant."

"You need to call your doctor."

"I can't call today. It's Sunday. I'm going to take another test."

"No. Don't do that."

"Why?"

"In case it's not the same result"

"Rubbish. I have to wait, I don't have any more pee."

So we go about our Sunday morning. I'm instantly nauseous (nerves) and jittery.

Later in the morning, I take another pregnancy test and had the same result.

OMG.

What does this mean? How is this possible? I haven't ovulated without medical assisstance since Jan of 2007.

On Monday I call my regular doc. They are excited and tell me to call my specialist doctor. I call the specialist doctor and they want me to come in for a blood test. I go over lunch.

The doctor's office calls me on Tuesday and says the result is positive and they want me to come in right way for an ultrasound. I go and they do an ultrasound. The radiologist isn't allowed to talk to you. She's poking around. I'm straining my neck to see what she's looking at. I can't make out jack.

She switches mode on the machine and then there's sound. WTF is that? She's poking around, poking. And then it happens.

"Is that the heartbeat?"

"Yes"

"Is it OK?"

"It's hard to pinpoint because it's so small."

"Oh"

OMG!!!

After the ultrasound, I have to wait to see the doctor to go over it.

After forfuckingevah she comes out beaming, "how do you feel?"

"Stunned."

She's very pleased, confirms the pregnancy and shows me the ultrasound photos of the lil" peanut. She calculates that I'm at 6 weeks which confuses Ray and I to no end given the timing of the HSG and the blood pregnancy test but whatevah! We have photographic evidence!

Then she says, "it's too early to tell, but there is a chance that it may be identical twins."

Are you fucking kidding me? What crack is this woman smoking at work?

"What? It's too much..."

"it's too early to tell, don't get too attached to that idea"

"OK"

And I float out of there with my peanut pictures and go back to work.

And act "normal".

Now that my brain knows my body is pregnant, it tells my body to be nauseous and starving at the same time. I'm tired and going to bed at 8. I'm trying to conceal this but I'm sure I'm doing a piss poor job.

Two weeks later I go back to see the doc, they do another ultrasound and confirm that it's NOT twins.

Doc is happy and sends us back to regular doc for follow up.

And so I'm released into the wild with this amazing thing that happened. Ray and I are in shock. It takes about a month for us to come to terms with all that has happened.

I still have moments where I can barely believe what happened.

It's weeks before we tell anyone, even our family. Well now, everyone knows.

Doctor's office rant

I must preface this whole rant, and believe me, it's a rant; with saying that I never expect anything to be free, but I do require that it be fair.

The last time I was at my gynae's office, the cashier lady asked me if I had gotten my letter from them yet about the payments. I said "no, what payments?" She said, "Oh, it's the payments that you'll have to pay for the baby and once you've paid, you won't have to pay for the doctor visits anymore."

No, I hadn't gotten that letter yet.

I got it last, last Friday.

It wasn't really a letter, more like a statement that detailed the

1. estimated charges for delivery by my doctor (~$2200)
   
2. the amount of my insurance deductible that had been met (according to them, none)
   
3. the amount that my insurance would cover after the deductible had been met
4. the amount that I was responsible for after the deductible had been met
5. The total amount that I was responsible for (>$1600)
6. When it needed to paid in full by (12/18/08)

I can't even type the cuss words (my mom might read this one day, sorry mom!)

I was mad because I've already spent over $2000 in medical expenses this year so surely some of that counted towards my deductible. I just couldn't believe that they wanted me to pay this amount of money in that amount of time (my own naievty, I suppose). You know how when you get so angry, you just cry. Ya, that's how fucking angry I was. Perhaps a tad bit emotional? Isn't that what pregnant ladies do?

So I called my insurance company on Monday and I spoke to Elizabeth (very sweet lady) and asked her how much of my deductible I had met. She said that I had met $896 of the $1500 deductible. A ha!

I called up the doctor's office and spoke to a lady, who after much, "cajoling" shall we say, finally released her name to me. Also Elizabeth, but not like the Elizabeth from the insurance company. (side note: when I ask you for you name, it's because I want to say "Thank you, Name"; for fuck's sake; just tell me a name) Told her that I

1. got the "letter"
2. spoke to the insurance and they said I've met $896, why does the letter say that I met zero?

Doctor's office Elizabeth said that she would check on it and call me back.

She called me back the next day.

She said that the insurance deductible resets every year and because the delivery is anticipated in 2009, my deductible would have reset and I wouldn't have to pay the full deductible again.

Fair enough.

So I asked her, "If these charges are applying to the 2009 deductible, and the services that you are billing me for aren't even going to occur in 2009, why do I have to pay this in 2008?"

I got transfered to Barbara.

Barbara plainly told me that it is the policy of the clinic to have all their pregnant patients pay their delivery charges by their fifth month because that gives them enough time to find "alternatives" if they can't make the payments.

At this point, I had to get off the phone with Barbara because, frankly, I wanted to cuss her ass out. I know she's not personally responsible, but I've been a patient there since 1998, my credit score is something like 728 and I pay my fucking bills, people. On time. In full. Every month.

It's not the money.

It's the principle.

So I just had to take a moment.

I talked to some peeps, who had not heard of this "pre-pay" business, including my insurance agent and the folks at the insurance company who concluded that although it was ethically questionable, it wasn't illegal.

I called the doctor's office back Monday and spoke with Venita. I really enjoyed speaking with Venita, she's the only one that I spoke to at the doctor's office that made me feel like she gave a damn. Thank you Venita.

I really don't have a problem paying the charges, I don't agree with the policy that they have or the terms that they were proposing. I was able to ask Venita all the questions that I had and we both came to a payment agreement. I definitely still feel like the doctor's office has the upper hand in the deal, and the patient really is at their mercy.

That's how the situation was resolved. As you can tell, I'm still a little bitter about the whole ordeal.

Oh well. Life goes on. There'll be more bills to come, I'm sure.

Oh, I can't wait till my next appointment there.