Open Letter Tuesday

Dear Employer,

I know all about "other duties as assigned" but is it truly necessary for me to pick you up from the gas station where you have dropped off your vehicle for state inspection, considering this gas station is 2 blocks from the office and it is sun shiny and 75 F outside? When I drop of my vehicle for state inspection, I take it to the guys 1 block away and I walk back. After all, it's such a lovely day, out.


Dear Employer's dog,

You're a nice girl and I like you. But I know where your mouth has been. Please, please, please do not place your hot dog tongue on my pants. Pants are not for licking. Pants are also not for rubbing your face on. I appreciate your attention, but I spent 15 minutes this morning de-cat-hairing these pants and dog hair is not part of the ensemble I had in mind this morning.


Dear Husband,

Thank you for being such a sweetheart and saying those nice things you said this morning. As you know, I hate waking up in the morning, but waking up to the sound of the squealing ironing board and hissing iron is what I look forward to. I suppose I could be a better wife and iron your shirt for you, but you seem to do such a good job. Thank you for being such a good ironer, I mean husband.